| Summary | |
| Owner | MITOC Gallery Administrator |
| Creation Date | 2004-09-16 09:33:28 UTC-0400 |
| Description |
How to Camp With Hector Briceno: 20 Steps to Excellence Date: Friday 1/18- Sunday 1/20, 2002 Location: The Flume, and elsewhere Participants: Yoko Miyata (repeat from previous weekend), Dave Comi (repeat from previous weekend), Sayan Mitra, Amy Fair, Hector Briceno Author: Amy Fair 1) Smoke crack 2) Leave Boston at the same time as every working person in a 50 mile radius and go to the same mountains as these people plan to ski. 3) Go to BJs and stock up with 20 lbs of raw meat, pasta, and other snacks. 4) Hit The Flume at 11 pm for hard core ice climbing. Throw mittens and ax in the 30ยบ rushing water 40 feet below. Here's some free advice: mittens fly and land wherever the hell they want, most likely in the least likely and least desirable of locations. Super-crack option: Try to climb the Flume in under 16.8 seconds with one ax and no headlamp. Ok, so maybe with a headlamp... 5) 4 am: Smoke more crack. 6) Remove car battery and load plastic sled with over 200 lbs of shit including, but not limited to, the 20 lbs of food, 30 lb car battery, portable speakers, laptop, tent and camp stoves. Attach this sled to the person who smoked the most crack (i.e., Hector) and laugh. 7) Watch sunrise while setting up camp. 8) Take a nap. No need for a tent. 9) Another fix of crack. 10) Go climb a mountain, making sure that everyone gets a chance to lose their snowshoe at some point. At least one should be mysteriously buried 3 feet under the snow along a steep cliff during the hike. 11) Turn around shortly after reaching a point of reception for your cell phone, bypassing the top because it's 15 miles farther than you thought and the 2 hour nap somehow didn't meet the needs of the crack-based physical pursuits. 12) Lay off the crack for a while. It's only making things worse, anyway. 13) Crank up the Rocky tunes and belt out all the words you know from Going the Distance. Eat steak and pasta with your hands out of a Frisbee while poking out of a tarp and go to bed. Ignore the fact that it's snowing. 14) After breakfast, dance some merengue and put on some cologne to cover that nasty smell of crack and body odor. 15) Give in to your addiction and have another fix of crack, followed by skiing across a little strech of ice over swift-running water and up some huge snowy boulders. 16) Make a mental note of the waiver you signed... 17) Spend 16 minutes trying to put on your skis. Super-crack option: With Eye of the Tiger blaring from your 200 lb sled, sprint for 6.8 miles on your cross-country skis. 18) Topple over from too much crack - er, exhaustion. Lay there and moan for a few minutes until your arm goes numb. Then ask for help getting up from a passing hiker. 19) Attempt to not blow up the car by using probability to figure out which is negative on the car battery. 20) Pat yourself on the back! If this was your first winter campout, you are now a professional. [Hector Addenum: for those who would like the precise numbers: line (2) 3:30pm, (3) 5 lbs, (4) 110 seconds, (6) sled total 160 lbs, 20 lbs of food , and 30 lb car battery, (8) 2.9 hour napity-nap, (11) no comments, probably 0.5 miles to go to summit of bondcliff, (14) Sharan, (17) 3 miles] [There is also a no-no-details trip report for this trip by Hector] |